Welcome!
Rather than rewrite my whole story, I would suggest you read my posts from March this year. I had just found my way back to SR... After 4-5 years of MY white knuckling it through my husbands alcoholism. I lived with a lot of unacceptable behavior while he was drunk....
Until he got drunk and grabbed me by my throat. That was it. Our marriage suffered it's final fracture. You can read my posts, and you'll see... My process of acceptance since then. I have learned there is only black and white when it comes to physical abuse. Right and wrong. No gray, even though my AH would beg for me to believe otherwise.
Having a hand on your throat, as you know, is Fu$&ing scary. Having the hand of your drunk and out of control husband on your throat is downright unthinkable. I realized in that moment I was no longer going to trust him. I was afraid of him. What was he going to do the next time he got drunk? And god forbid something makes him angry... Would he come after me again? And yet... He kept right on freaking drinking. Not giving two $hits that his behavior made me feel unsafe in my own home. He told me I blew it out of proportion and "it wasn't that bad". Bad news buddy... It was that bad.
And I'm outta here. I will not let my children grow up seeing this $hit and think it's normal or okay.
If not for yourself, please think about the children. Is this really what you want to teach them as "normal"? I know it's not an easy decision to make... But it's the right one. And from what I've learned from my trips around the sun... I've never regretted the right decisions I've made. I do regret the dumb and short sighted ones.
Take what you like, and leave the rest.
Shannon