Old 05-19-2011, 01:24 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
naive
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hello wywriter and welcome -

glad you found us. and glad you are reaching out for support for yourself. this is a great place to educate yourself about alcoholism, co-dependency and also, to learn how to set effective boundaries.

the first thing which is important to understand is that you didn't cause this, you can't cure it, and you can't control it. if an alcoholic wants to drink, they will find a way. period.

all of us have tried begging, pleading, moving, threatening, withstanding with the alcoholic to absolute no avail.

what i have learned here is that while i can't change an alcoholic, i can change myself and how i respond, from the inside out.

there is an organization, called alanon, which has free meetings for people like us. it would be a good step in the right direction if you can locate one in your area and attend.

i would like to let you know that putting his hand around your throat is indeed domestic violence. perhaps there is a domestic violence organization near you that you could contact, in private, and see what services they can provide to you. many have free counseling. i've attended counseling and i found it very helpful to be able to speak with someone, rather than off-load to my friends and family, who didn't really understand what it is like to live with an alcoholic.

again, welcome.
naive
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