Sending hugs, StarCat. I've found myself watching for XAH's (his GF's) car again lately too along with the attendant panic when I see one like it. I'd just started not doing that when he pulled the last stunt at pick up. The desire to pull a geographic fix is nearly irresistible some days, and then, at the same time I really don't want him to think he's run me off. This is where MY home and family is.
I'm glad to read that you're making safety plans and that your work is able to offer help. I can't think of anything more to say, beyond: I'll sit and commiserate with you. Hugs.