I don't there is the remotest possibility that you are going to get:
resolution
apologies
heartfelt conversation
healing
at least at this stage.
you are asking a basketball to be a football. it just is not going to happen, sweetie.
now...that said, i truly do understand. i too have had that exact desire.
speaking to a recovering alcoholic a few weeks ago, she said,
"something that we enjoyed, something that helped us to have fun, to be more outgoing, eventually turns against us and becomes not our friend, but our enemy."
i think that when we are going through withdrawal, we romanticize those earlier experiences. this is true for the addict about his/her drug of choice, and it is true for US as well. that's what you went through.
he is simply not that same friend any longer. you not only need to think about respecting him and his wish to be done, but yourself as well, and not put you through this.