Driving home from work last night, in line to get off at my exit, I notice the car three cars in front of me is the same make, model, and color as XABF's. I had finally calmed down, stopped watching my back, stopped jumping whenever I saw a car that looked like XABF's, so I didn't pay it much notice. As I got closer, though, I noticed the first three letters on the license plate... then the dent in the back right bumper... it was
him.
His exit on the highway is the one before mine, but sometimes he takes my exit to avoid the construction, or to go to the liquor store up my way when the one by his house is closed. My exit splits to go in two completely different directions, the bit to the left goes to his house and the liquor store; the part to the right leads to my apartment (and practically nothing else - a Dunkin' Donuts, a Wawa, and a giant stretch of construction and houses).
He turned right, heading towards my apartment.
The two cars in front of me went left, which would have left me directly behind him if I continued to drive home (and I did not want him to notice me), so I went left and did some grocery shopping. He wasn't at my apartment when I got home. (Thank goodness he gives up easily). He also wasn't there when my sponsor and I left, later, to head to my Al-Anon meeting (I was speaker last night).
I am sick and tired of this.
I finally started to relax, and here he comes again. I was hoping that he would have given up, since I stopped him the other two times he tried (Feb 14 in my parking lot, March 7 at work), and I didn't see him last month.
My sponsor has since reminded me that last month, around the time he would have appeared, I completely changed my schedule and took the day off to have the kitten spayed, so he could have tried and I just wasn't there to see him. Drat.
When am I allowed to have a life where I'm not constantly checking in my rear view mirror?
I did speak to the psychologist at work today, talking about options since we both work at the same place. (A lot of people work here, and we work in two completely different buildings, so it's easy to avoid each other). I didn't follow him to my apartment, so I can't prove that's where he was going, but the next time he's evidently trying to contact me in spite of my wishes, whether it happens at home or at work or anywhere else, I can call HR and they'll take over. It's nice to know it doesn't have to be at work for them to be able to step in.
After work today, I think I'll stop by the local police, see if anyone will walk me through my options, and what sorts of information/records would help them should I need to call them in on things.
This on top of the call from XABF's sister on Thursday... She wanted me to call XABF's daughter, who wanted to talk to me about how XABF treated me when we were together, since she's dragging him to a psychologist in the hope of treatment because she believes he's delusional and has a major mental illness, and she wanted my information so she could "force" him to tell the truth to the psychologist... On my sponsor's advice I said that I'd consider talking to the psychologist, if he wanted to speak with me, but that I didn't feel it was appropriate to talk to his family about it. His daughter sent me an email later that night, half guilt trip about how sick he is and how much the information I could tell her would help, and half her telling me that I had a right to live my own life...
I'm glad I'm not directly involved in that circus anymore, but I just want to be left alone completely.
And now with his daughter
panicking about his mental health, I'm starting to wonder how much further he's slipped since the last time he was in my apartment, where he started throwing furniture and I left to spend the night at work?
I can't be complacent.
I have to get everything together, now, so I can be prepared the next time he comes.
Now I know that adding "if there is a next time" is simply lying to myself.
There will be a next time. I just need to be ready.