First Al-Anon Meeting..
So i went to my first Al-Anon meeting on monday night! Started to cry a little before i walked in the door. Of course everyone there knew i was a newcomer, and i couldn't even say my name without crying. But overall it was a good experience and i was suprised it went by so fast, i was not ready for it to be over. also just finished reading CoDependent No More, which helps so much.
There have been a few things that have happend since Saturday with xabf, that have really put me in a downward little spiral. i LOVE LOVE my son and i dont know what i do without him, but darn it!, i sitll have to see and talk to xabf twice a week! How am i supposed to grow and move on when i have to see him? So with these little.......annoying hurtful things that have come about since Saturday, i have really really been talking to God, and myself and trying to live the slogans, and have faith. And NOT do what i would normally do ( which obviously doesnt work). Just really step back and think if "i freak out, is that going to help anything? NO it wont"
Well today is the day axbf brings my baby home, and i have to make the choice to not react, but i need help from my HP, so on the way to work i was talking with God, and repeating the Serenity Prayer, and the slogans, and telling myself to keep my mouth shut, and to please help me. So i get out of my truck, and start walking across the parking lot, and i look up and see a HUGE flock of birds flying in this beautiful, what looked like a smile , right above me!, i knew right then God had heard me, he had my back. sounds silly but to me it was just what i needed to get through this day, that if i did my part, God would do his. Thanks for listening.