I'm Fed Up
AH sent me this email today. We have no money for him to buy himself a motorcycle as his new solution to what ails him. And he's wrapping up "being honest" in telling me what he wants/needs to have fun in his life.
I don't want to respond... But I don't want him running off and buying a bike with money we do not have.
His brother, also an alcoholic thinks that moving to a new town will make life better and AH rants about how sick his brother is. Ummmm, hello? Buying a motorcycle as a solution to why you're unhappy?
I'm angry and fed up and sick of dealing with a child in a man's body. The self centeredness, the narcissism, the immaturity... I have had it with all of it. I am trying to figure out how to make it so the girls can go to camp a few days a week this summer and all he cares about is HIMSELF.
I could care less if he ever recovers at this point-- I just want to stop dealing with the juvenile behavior.
He has NO clue how insane this reads below and thinks this is him "working" the program. Interesting how none of his solutions involve AA.
i had a bit of an epiphany after my appt and the mtg i went to - i am trying to fill the void of fun and feeling good with beer, which will create misery and feeling really bad. i expect u to expect some basics from me - honesty and love. unfortunately, i have felt that i could give love and be dishonest at the same time, but that is an impossibility. So u wanted me to be honest - i want to be honest, so here goes: i would like to do a few things this summer will give me more purpose, camraderie and fun and these include: playing soccer, getting a motorcycle i can fix up and this will help me to not drink. i feel like i can moderate my drinking for a time, and it has been tempting for me to try to learn how to drink moderately... i dont want to drink moderately. i enjoy too much having several beers on an empty stomach and feeling the rush of a buzz. it isnt healthy, and it is dangerous for a variety of reasons. Am i struggling, yes. I am VERY sorry for lying to u, again, and i am tired of running and hiding my double life. i am imperfect andf i need to b ok w that.