No matter what happens you can not join anyone else's pity party. For me , i have a very similar problem right now. I've stepped up my meetings, doing some service and praying a lot. Just trying to stay away from my playground in my head . I keep myself talking to other alcoholics and have been told by some old timers that i can't be the director any longer. I put a bunch of al-non lit., on the coffee table at home and in a few days my wife started to read. Last night she came to me and asked if she could go to an open meeting of aa or an al-non meeting. I hope this works for me and you. My wife will only get better if she wants to, just like i am trying after i hit lower than bottom. 88 days and hours clean and sober. One day at a time.