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Old 05-16-2011, 06:47 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
chicory
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Originally Posted by dollydo View Post
I am sorry that you continue to struggle with making a decision that would set both you and your son free....free to live your own lives....as functioning adults.

Perhaps it is time for you to turn your dreams into reality.

You hold the key to your future in the palm of your hand, it is up to you to unlock the door and move forward, as for your son, until you allow him to have a key, he has no future, no chance.

As with everyone else, I wish you peace and happiness.
You know Dollydo, I agree with you , that it is time, and also agree that I have the key to my future.

But, does not my son have a key, but he does not want to use it? I dont have to give him a key to his future, I cant do that. He is choosing to blind his self to his options. He is trying to find work, but I feel that he is taking me for granted and using me to a large degree. does not have to work, no real emergency. does not have to take whatever he can find, to survive. and that is wrong. that is what is getting me to wake up, the plain unfairness of his taking advantage of me and my weakness.

I guess what I can do is show him the door. I guess that is what you mean by his "key". Then he will have much more incentive to wake up his brain, and find his own way. I dont know how that will work, as living in a shelter wont give you any self confidence, but getting out of one would , I suppose.

I dont believe I am holding him here. I think we talked about this before. But I am supplying free rent and that is keeping him stuck. He fears he cant do it his self, and stays where the free stuff is. he does not say that his self, but I feel it. he is kind of holding me prisoner, by my emotions. i am stuck feeling i have to do more for him than he really needs anyone to. it is so hard to see through the fog of emotions I am in most of the time.

kind of like the little cat I feed outside. but that little cat really has no other options, except to scavenge somewhere else. so I feed him. if he has a home, they dont want him. but if he did, would he find his way home if i was feeding him? cant stand to see hunger, in a helpless animal. but son is not helpless! and the cat is innocent.

thanks for the support, I do appreciate it ,
hugs
chicory
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