Oh Honey!! (((HUGS))) These are almost the very same things I heard the other night. I'm glad you could hear that it's all quacking and you are able to detach from taking responsibility for his actions and feelings. It is sad! In keeping my side of the street clean, I am in a place now where I know I really am not making judgements but making a life I can be comfortable with for me and my child. There's no way our children should think that some of the things they've seen us do while living with the As in our lives are ok. We have the responsibility to OURselves and our children to clean our worlds from distractions from true happiness.
Good on you for making progress in making things right for you and your family. I feel very much like you're describing right now.