I too am here with you.
My sponsor and I just discussed this very issue this weekend.
I read from the alanon books and it all relates to someone who is no longer in my life, so I found myself not wanting to do it anymore, even though I need it.
So I have started relating the readings to people or incidents I am currently in contact with: my daughter, coworkers, family, anyone who fits the bill.
I find it easier to digest if I substitute a specific persons name as opposed to " the alcoholic."
I have started paying attention during my day to people (at work, home, in stores, alanon (LOL) just anywhere) and incidents that bother/irritate me so I can use them in my reading later on that day.
My reactions, when I get upset, are milder than they were when I was with him, but they still lurk heavily under the surface. I create a facade, I think, during everyday life covering my upset/anger.
I hang on to these incidents, so I can re-examine them later and see a different point of view possibly than I was seeing at the time they happened.
It helps tremendously!!
Good Luck on your quest.
BTW a really good thing would be to get to alanon and find a sponsor. Mine sometimes has to nudge me a bit when I need it.
Then I start moving again, slowly, but surely.