I can relate. I am sitting here debating if I should go to a meeting or not. I am trying to move on emotionally from the RABF who isn't available right now and so I thought not going to meetings will help me 'forget' but I don't think it works that way. I need that connection to know I am not crazy or isolated for caring about him as I do.
Even if he isn't physically here with me, he is in my head so I probably should stick with it.