Uh..when I packed up my exabf got even worse. I know this cuz he's spending every weekend with his pothead drunky ex. He certainly didn't become the person I always wanted.
Originally Posted by
zrx1200R 
Sorry to report. There will be no peace or lack of drama until he and only he decides. Your husband is in control. Not you. Oh, he'll talk about change and say all the things you need to hear.
But deep down, he won't really change. Most likely.
Mine hasn't. Still brags daily about how "good" she's doing. And how AA is really helping. Yet, with ZERO effort on my part I continue to find wine, smell it, and observe her behavior exactly as if she had been drinking. Even a HINT of me suspecting her drinking results in a tantrum any 3 year old would be proud of. Followed by more lies, and more accusations. Sound familiar?
It doesn't change.
No apologies for being the resident cynic in our midst. I was drinking the koolaide of her change for while. But the reality is even faced with losing everything, she can't stop. Can't change. Lies, lies and more lies.
Perhaps they only way they ever change is when we finally pack up our crap and leave. Then it hits them. They change. And become the person we fell in love with. But they spend the rest of their life with someone else. That is how I see it.