Well yeah, he is special, at least to me. And that's how I got sucked in and why I stayed at first. He was good enough even with all the crap that he was worth it. But that was then. Now he's.........not really even there anymore. I almost never actually see HIM. I only see the alcoholic monster in charge. I can only assume that those other aspects of him are in there somewhere but they aren't visible anymore day to day. His positive attributes make things worse in that they help him continue some level of minimal functioning when others would have hit bottom.
I am planning to go to Alanon. In fact I'm looking forward to it.