Thread: Closure?
View Single Post
Old 05-14-2011, 04:58 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Tuffgirl
Member
 
Tuffgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by Mimic View Post
I was having a hard time with it because it seems like I don't even know him anymore. I couldn't wrap my head around it, that alcohol has consumed the love of my life, right long with my mother, my father, and some of my friends.

Right after I posted his message, his friend called me to inform me that he flipped out on the people he had given a room to until they could move back home to Seattle. It was the male half of the couple's sister who had thrown my XAB out last night when he became too drunk and belligerent. He started freaking out, even throwing things (I'm not sure of any damage) which suitably scared them enough to pack up their things and leave, even though they were slated to stay another week before they moved. To me, this is the final straw, and I simply cannot take it.

My mother (a recovering alcoholic and the current spouse of a severe alcohol dependent individual) told me I need to sit him down, tell him I feel he needs help, offer to help him get help, and let it go. If he wants to genuinely get help, then help him but do not date him. If he does not get help, I've done all I can, and I should back away. His mother should be alerted to his behavior, then I should walk away for a while. Is this a good strategy?
Would it provide you the beginnings of closure? Would you feel like you have done enough for this guy and now the rest of this is up to him and him alone? If there is a benefit to you to do what your Mom suggests - do it. But kicker in her advice is this: do not date him and this: back away and this: walk away for a while. That's the hard part of her advice. The words are easy. Are you ready for that? If so - than good strategy!
Tuffgirl is offline