Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
I think that it doesn't matter what the substance is that is being used, it's the thinking that gets one to the using that's the problem. So, he may think it's great and he's cured since he's not drinking, but clearly he is still just as addicted and just as ill as he ever was bc his thinking is that of an addict.
The line of h is a dead giveaway that there is nothing that has changed in him other than the fact that he has switched substances (if that-- I'd guess he is still drinking but really, it's the thinking that's the biggest problem... the substances are a symptom)
It's good for your and your family that you've limited contact. I am sure it's hard-- you see the potential that a person has and see them destroying themself and it's sad. But as you are learning or know already, you can't do a damned thing about that...
Hang in there...
It's so hard, probably one of the hardest things I've had to do and it's taken a very LONG time to come to the realization that I can't fix this for him. I'm most definitely still clinging a bit to the friend he was and hope that some day that man will come back to us, but I also know that's my codie behavior.
He was such a talented chef and ran a kitchen like nobody's business. He worked harder than anyone I know and was proud of who he was. He always had substance issues, but was a functioning alcholic. He was also thoughtful of us and our family and incredibly generous with his time, talents and love for us. When he got out of prison in 2008, he was doing great, for about 6 months. Then he relapsed, started sneaking the booze (as we wouldn't allow it in our home for HIS sake) and by the summer of '09, he's just started to change. He's so unbelievably self absorbed now, it's very disheartening.
Someone said something to me the other day about "stinkin' thinkin" and I know he's just trying to fool himself and everyone around him and frankly, it's not working.