I think that it doesn't matter what the substance is that is being used, it's the thinking that gets one to the using that's the problem. So, he may think it's great and he's cured since he's not drinking, but clearly he is still just as addicted and just as ill as he ever was bc his thinking is that of an addict.
The line of h
e keeps trying to tell me what a great guy he is because he's not drinking anymore and that it's "not a big deal". He loses whole days at a time, blows off his friends and the other day, was downright mean and went for my true achilles heel.
is a dead giveaway that there is nothing that has changed in him other than the fact that he has switched substances (if that-- I'd guess he is still drinking but really, it's the thinking that's the biggest problem... the substances are a symptom)
It's good for your and your family that you've limited contact. I am sure it's hard-- you see the potential that a person has and see them destroying themself and it's sad. But as you are learning or know already, you can't do a damned thing about that...
Hang in there...
