Darklight- Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.
The part about the brain/mind is an interesting one. I said "brain" because I think all the booze and drugs are chemically changing him. He's not the man I knew three years ago and I'm not sure he has a true rock bottom. He's willing to simply self medicate himself to death, literally. About a year and a half ago (December in VT) he was homeless (kicked out of the homeless shelter no less), jobless, suicidal and penniless. He called me from a covenience store to get help, wanted to go the the hospital to dry out and so I picked him up to take him there. He was there for 3 days, they put him on the benzos and he was drinking the day he walked out of the hospital. We didn't realize this, took him in to help him back on his feet and that's when things spiraled down. We thought that MUST be rock bottom (prison, losing all his family/friends, business didn't seem to be RB).
I now know I'm very codie and am working hard to set boundaries to help me and my family, but it's not easy. Oh boy, it's so hard watching this happen right in front of me and not be able to do anything. (sigh)