update: I can't believe I am back in this hell again. It has been such peaceful 6 months and the kids and I have been having a wonderful, peaceful, fun time together. AH came back couple of days ago at 11pm in the night - banging on the door. I opened the door and told him he can stay only for the night and leave the next day (big mistake). He refused to leave the next day and I called the cops - showed them the lease in my name only. Apparently it is not enough (naive you were so right) - some of his property is still here, mail still coming in and we are still married. So, he is now back and we are back in the toxic enviroment. He is still drinking, smoking, not respecting boundaries, acting difficult, no job and I am scrambling to figure out what to do now. Thankfully the lease is expiring this month end - so have following options:
1) Move to another unit (to make him leave us alone) and start divorce process
2) Move out of state to be near my sister and get away from this
3) Restraining order (but no domestic violence issue). has anyone gotten restraining order based on emotional/mental abuse (heard this is difficult)
I am so tired and angry but one good thing is that I know that I definitely want a divorce now - no ambiguity. I can't believe AH is forcing me and the kids to live with him and am furious that am having to scramble around to figure things out while I am forced to support him. Kids are happy to see their dad but are worried about his drinking again. Hate, hate this situation.