I can see now that the same obsessive behaviours, the all or nothing black and white thinking, and the utter recklessness and disregard for myself was always with me....
it was with me when I smoked pot too, before I started drinking....but it came to full fruition, if that's the right word, when I started drinking.
I reckon my problem was never alcohol, or pot, or whatever else I've done.
I reckon the problem was me
D