Originally Posted by
Cyranoak 
...and I noted that AW did not start drinking until she was in her 30s. When I read the many, many posts from people here about the infantile behavior of their AWs and AHs I have a hard time understanding it (and wonder who really got married in order to be parenting their husbands or wives?).
I honestly did not know what I was signing on for until shortly after the wedding. I knew something was wrong, but I was so naive that I didn't think it was alcoholism. I thought it was stress and the drinking was a symptom of that stress. I thought I was the problem. Damn, I hoped I was the problem because that I could have fixed. I was in my own deep denial...
I didn't see any of the really obvious signs while we were dating. He never seemed immature to me. Maybe a little needy and sometimes jealous of other men in my life, but never anything that was really over the top. Even looking back with my blinders off - I still don't see any obvious red flags. That's the frustration of it all - he was very good at hiding it and lying to himself.