Yeah, for me it goes waaaaaay deeper than who does what around the house or who does what for a living.
I have always been good at fixing things. (maybe that led me to believe I could "fix" and alcoholic, lol) I can change a tire, replace a sprinkler head, install a dimmer switch. I can also sew and cook. I've excelled for the last 20 years in a male-dominated field. (IT). So it really threw me for a loop when I started digging in to my own head and discovered that all those gender things had latched onto my psyche like a parasite.
I somehow internalized the belief that my needs were less important, my passions were not as necessary, my talents were secondary--all because I didn't have anything dangling between my legs, lol.
L