But to me, I feel like he should have done all these things yesterday if he was really serious about getting his family back.
Yep, he could have, but he didnt. This makes him a little less than willing to face the consequences. Have you been feeling the pain of his addiction? Yeah, you have and it has even made you doubt yourself!
You have absolutely NO CONTROL in his choice to drink, or to get help.
It seems he has already changed his promise to drop the woman and get help to some future time. Friday? That gives him a couple of days to come up with, "See, I havent had a drink for two whole days!" And, there you are again, worried sick and feeling sad because you love someone who is incapable of loving you back.
There is nothing for you to feel shame or embarassment about. You are telling your truth, and the truth will set you free. You can do this, and if you cant do it for yourself right now, use the love of your children to hold you up till you get your bearings.
I am a recovering alcoholic with two children I had with an alcoholic/crack addict.
At the toughest times (sober but deeply in the black hole of depression), I might not think I deserved better, but I KNEW my children did. I wanted them to have a chance at life.
Please see your doctor to rule out any mood disorders, it is nearly impossible to maintain boundaries when you do not have the strength to stand up and hold your ground.
When it comes down to it, you will see that anything your Alcoholic says to you is just noise that is distracting you from your job of taking care of your children.
He is afraid of the consequences he might have to face?
It is called responsibility, fathers are responsible people who do not abuse substances to escape reality. Hmph. And blame someone or something else for choosing to continue bad behavior.
You can do this. When you need a pick up, come here and post, I will be glad to tell you what a hero you are for making it this far.
Beth