sweetteewalls,
I have posted over 4000 times here, most of those posts feeling pathetic! and they haven't kicked me out yet. This is a safe place to talk with honesty about our feelings.
I got many things going on, recently posted about how happy and grateful I felt! on Saturday I was on the top of the world!
Well....since Monday I have refused to leave my apartment and am seriously depressed. Without focus, odd sleep times, no motivation at all. Feeling pathetic. AGAIN. Sigh!!
Anyway posting here helps me a lot so I hope you continue posting. Everything is temporary.. also pain, and bad times.
I also notice how I have no self esteem. Am working on it. But its quite frustrating. Although after so many years of being a doormat, it won't happen overnight.
As they said every day is a struggle... but payoffs are grand.. I felt them on Saturday.. I want to feel that way again. It can be done. One step at a time!! we are NOT alone. I get it, that pull to isolate can be strong... in my case being in SR I realize there are wonderful people that get me, and much wisdom, and it gives me strength to face the world and perhaps connect with people in real life that do get me, that feel compassion, that are not superficial. Those that can lend me a hand, or an ear.....
HUGS!