I agree with LaPinturaBella.
Life can only be lived in the now.
Remember alcoholism is CHRONIC, he will always be an alcoholic. He will always be vulnerable to relapse. Would YOU trust him again? even stronger alcoholics with lots of years under their belt relapse. Imagine not being able to relax during weekends, national holidays, birthday parties, your children's wedding... always anxious if today is the day he drinks? what if he has to travel? or what about when sad life events happen, like illnesses or deaths... what if he can't cope and drinks again? how could YOU relax never knowing if he will stay healthy or throw everything down the drain?
I know I wouldn't be able to relax anymore. I would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. And walking on eggshells. That is not life IMHO.
No one knows what will happen. Yes he might be happier and healthier later. Maybe after 30 years. Maybe next year. Or maybe NEVER. You don't know. No one knows. Its a fantasy that you have that is hurting you. Perhaps he never gets well again and dies in denial as many alcoholics die?
We can't control anyone.....
Try to stay in the now. I do that by using yoga breathing techniques, reading Zen books, playing with my cats, exercise, etc.
After the mourning process is over you won't care anymore what he does or what happens. He won't even be in your thoughts anymore for you to wish him well or wish him ill. You will have let go.
PS I have hoped the worst for an XABF and no longer feel guilty... its part of the "forgiving process" as Melody Beatty calls it.