Gah, yes! this one troubles me a lot! I'm of a time and place where girls were told to 'be nice'. At all costs. One book that really helped me was 'Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch'.... it's a kind of tongue-in-cheek self-help book. I learned to say 'I don't think so', since my early training made it impossible for me to say 'no'. My life started to turn around then.
But - I left my ABF, and friends invited him over for dinner. He's a gourmet chef with all the equipment, and I moved to a small, ill-equipped apartment miles from a store with no car. But he's seen as both the injured party and helpless, neither of which is true.
Today, a new associate who's doing work for our software company said 'you look good in pink' during a small meeting. What the heck?!?! It was a woman, and we'd just met. If it was a man, I'd assume he was trying to 'put me in my place' (I'm the lead tech). But a woman? was she trying to pick me up? My secretary just kind of rolled his eyes.
(as an aside: I can't watch TV, because I mentally switch the genders... try it sometime! You'll watch less TV, I promise, LOL!)
- Sylvie