hmmmm have been searching for good info for enablers. I am the only NON enabler in my daughter's life and even with her grandparents finally on board with me they still do not "get" their enabling. After a long time of going behind my back and my family enabling her she got a second DUI. NOW they see what they did was wrong but today my mom talked to my daughter and told her she too believes my daughter has a drinking problem. Unfortunately Gma had to deliver the message with sympathy...she told me that my daughter says she's scared of me so she won't come and talk to me. (I have been trying to get her to come talk in person so I can suggest treatment but had to tell all the enablers to butt out, let me be the parent and just support me) WOW I was scared of my mom too when I did something I shouldn't...comes with the territory but now Gma sympathizes with that. Gma also does not want me to report her for violations of her probation (which is in my plan to get her into treatment and my daughters PO agrees with me) Gma says don't destroy your relationship with her.
Which leads me to my point and your post. If it takes my daughter hating me to get help then sobeit. If it takes my parents cutting ties with her (and so "destroying the relationship) because she refuses to get help I will be pushing them to do that. SHE is responsible for her actions not us. They think they can help by being sympathetic and sweet to her. Doesn't work. She will hate everyone who attempts to help her (the right way) until she sees that she needs to address her drinking.
Who cares if he hates you? He'll hate the next one who gets sucked in too. You don't have a life and kids invested so you are able to walk away much easier than if you stay until its too late.
You instead should be thankful you are out of that relationship and you have a future great relationship to look forward to. There is some great guy out there waiting for you.
You get to look forward to the future fun of a first date , butterflies and a new love, a healthy love and a lasting healthy relationship with a real man. (It WILL happen as long as you don't repeat your mistake of falling for a drunk) It happened to me....and 14 years later my heart still jumps when he comes thru the door...not because I am scared of him but because we are still madly in love. Corny I know, but true.
Go find the guy you deserve!