Old 05-10-2011, 07:38 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
eaglette
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 362
Voyager--

Welcome to SR, and thank you for this post! I have gone through so much of the same...I stayed with my ex for 7 years and am now in the 'What in God's name was I thinking?' mindset. I also have been experiencing a sense of guilt now and again for enabling him for so long. But then I remember all of the abuse that I endured in that relationship, and I'm able to release the guilt. Yes, I helped him to perpetuate his addiction. But I was not in a healthy place, physically or mentally. The relationship was negative on both ends. Reading this brings back so many incidents I never should have put up with. But one thing I have learned is that 'should have' is a waste of time.

I have found that recovering from a codependent relationship involves a plethora of emotions. Anger, guilt, low self-esteem, undersanding, forgiveness, etc. They come and go, and change. Even if you are not dealing with a low self-esteem level at this point because you are feeling a rush of anger and indignation, you may have to face this demon eventually. Condependency, in my experience, implies a certain lack of self-esteem, whether it is immediately obvious or not. (A person with high self-esteem wouldn't have stayed.) You may eventually get something out of hearing other peoples' experiences at Al-Anon. If you feel comfortable, you can share your story there, and guaranteed there will be others there who know exactly what you are going through.
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