Please don't hate yourself!
You are being bullied. He is still a bully.
He is trapped, about to face consequences and lacking the maturity, or character, or what ever it is that makes honorable people stop, take a personal inventory, and change their behavior. He lacks it. It isn't there. He isn't going to "catch on" right now. He intimidates or terrorizes instead.
NONE of that is about you.
Please make yourself and your kids safe. Love yourself and them.