Bookwyrm's wonderful thread on Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He DO That?"... well, has been wonderful. I saw this article today and wanted to post it in part as an addition to the info she's posted there.
I hadn't known this at the time, although I had sensed that I had lost myself, that I was disappearing:
"research is proving exactly how emotional and physical abuse physiologically changes the brain. Using MRI scans, neuroscientists like Alan Simmons, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, have found that repeated abuse makes a victim more prone to being withdrawn, forgetful and so stuck in negative thinking that she can't even see how a situation could improve. Many survivors look back and say they were in a fog; often the phrase is "I lost myself." "There is something biological," says Simmons. "It's not a sign of weakness. It's akin to what happens to the brain during war.""Liz Brody: Relationship Violence: The Secret That Kills 4 Women a Day