Originally Posted by
sillysquirrel 
How do you not focus on someone who makes his angry presence known at ALL times? I would love to focus on me, but believe me, things get ugly around here if I even think about it.
When I focused on my exH, I was teaching my children by exampe to focus on him, too. From that grew the assumption that he was more important than anyone else, that his words and opinions deserved more weight and respect than mine or others' did, and that like me, they should follow his lead and example. I was undermining myself, and their development of their own sense of self and self-respect, as much as he was.