I appreciate your post, FindingPeace (great name, BTW!). The problem is that none of this directly involves me, although it is all about me. None of these people have ever done anything but be two faced. They all act sweet to my face, but go behind my back and tell lies about me to anyone who will listen. The only reason I know this is because my man cares enough about me to be honest, as he knows how stupid and hurt I would feel if I believed they really liked me, but they didn't.
It is so bad that I could hear his grandma talking on the phone to him, saying a bunch of stuff that isn't true, like "she doesn't do anything around the house and you are stuck watching her kids all the time." That is so completely untrue that he started laughing and said "are you serious?". When I started talking to him loudly, asking for the phone so I could speak to her myself, she actually told him "tell her to keep her two cents out of this!" It is so frustrating! In two years, I have never been able to say a word in my own defense, because nobody is brave enough to talk to me because they know all they have is lies.
Because of this, *I* don't actually have a relationship with his grandpa, although I wish I did. I have just heard stories about how nice he is, and I have seen how he goes out of his way to help other people. The few times I have seen him, he has been very nice to me. But his mom and grandma have done everything they can to exclude me, so I don't have the chance to 'connect' with anyone on his side of the family. It's pretty lonely.
And I know that if he cuts off contact with his very hateful Grandma, (who actually told his Grandpa that she wished he would hurry up and die because she couldnt deal with taking care of him) then I will get blamed for him cutting off his Grandpa too, by default. Not because he wants to, but because they are all a package deal.