WTBH.....so very similar to my situation.
My RAH got drunk and smacked me when he came home. He was arrested. I did not press charges, but the state did. He and his lawyer tried every trick in the book to get me to go to court and sit by his side in front of the judge and ask for the charges to be dropped. I refused. He pressured me nonstop to be present for his day in court. He said it was what a loving and supportive wife would do. I finally told him I would go, but if asked any questions, I would NOT lie.....I would be telling the truth! He said that was fine. His lawyer had us come in a little early to meet with both of us before we entered the courtroom. The lawyer asked me a few questions....Is he still drinking? YES Has he changed his behavior? NO Are you here today because you want to be here? NO Did he pressure you to be here? YES Lawyer left the room and returned 10 minutes later to say that RAH's courtdate had been rescheduled....he wasn't sure why! Well, let me tell you why. Because his lawyer did not want me, the assaulted wife who was going to be nothing but honest, anywhere near that courtroom. They did not ask me again to appear in court and I didn't. I was in very close contact with the prosecutor, though. I made sure that he knew what I wanted which was alcohol treatment, anger management, and counseling for RAH and that is exactly what they made RAH do.
Do not plead the 5th. Make it clear that if he wants you in court, you will be telling the truth. Most likely, his lawyer will not want you there either after he talks to you. My RAH worked so hard on trying to make me believe that the assault was my fault. It was not. There is nothing to justify a man (who is 100 lbs bigger than I) following me around the house from room to room in a drunken stupor and then smacking me in the face. Nothing.