Thank you for the replies
Thank you all for your insight.
My H is actually fairly self-aware. He has attended AA in the past, and I believe will be doing so again. He's at one week without drinking today. I'm skeptical, as we've been around this particular block before.
He seems to know he needs help. For the first time, he confessed to people beyond me that he has a problem; his father, who has been sober now for about 25 years, and one of his oldest friends. We stayed fairly isolated over the weekend, partly due to both of us not wanting to face any social situations with how new this is.
I know I cannot control his recovery. I have tried that in the past. I also know I don't cause him to drink. I still have not wrapped my mind around the idea that he can love me and not quit; I feel like if he loved me enough, he could do this.
As for leaving, it is (as it is for most people I suppose) complicated. We own a house - or, better put, HE owns a house. I have a son from a prior marriage and he has 2 children, all 3 of whom are under 10 and live with us much of the time. Financially the recession has taken a toll, though we are making it and things seem to be getting better. There is enough to support this household, but not another.
And I love him with all of my heart. I can see hating him if this does not stop, but right now, I love him. I have hope and I'm trying to have faith in him. I am a reader and researcher by nature, and so I know that the statistics are bad.
One of my good friends is going through something similar. I have hinted to her that I understand, but not gone into the depth of it. I'm going to reach out to her this week.
And beyond that, put one foot in front of the other and try to think about other things once in a while.
Thank you all so much for the kind words.
Kitty