Shirt423

Hi,

My recovering ABF continues to break up with me and say that I am not there for him and that I don't really love him. We were supposed to be signing a lease for an apt this week. He says I hurt him when in reality he hurts me. The problem is that most days are really good. We are best friends, get along great, say the same things at the same time, laugh, play, and overall really love eachother. These times are so hard on me. He goes from hot to cold in a second. Is this typical in early recovery? I am scared for him, and while it is hard when he does this to me, I know he is just a sad person and gets into these really dark places in his mind. He doesn't believe anyone can really love him. My heart breaks for him, he isn't a bad person. This deaseas is so sad, and so hard to battle. The problem is that i don't know how to react.

I try telling him I love him, that I am here for him, that he is a great person. But he will just say I am a liar and to leave him alone. I don't get it, he says leave me alone and then says why are you never here when I need you.

Am I taking crazy pills? Does he really believe the BS he throws at me?

Any advice on how I can handle him in these "dry drunk" phases would be helpful. His eyes are stone cold just like when he was drinking. It breaks my heart to see someone who can be so full of life and optimistic in such a dark and depressing state of mind.

Thanks for any thoughts / experiences.