Is it really possible to let go?
I agree with Chino.
When I had a problem with AD, it was hard to detach but I had to. I am still her mother. But she does not live with us. I don't always agree with her decisions, but she is living her own life. She is not where I see her everyday. I don't know all the intimate details of her life. And I don't go looking for them. Success.
But the problems with my AH are very different & I am having problems with the first step. I have been able to detach some. I don't go investigating anymore, I don't think about it 24 hrs a day. (only 12, haha) But if I see him doing something in our house I dont agree with, yeah I call him on it. We also share businesses, 4 kids, bills, etc. He is involved in every aspect of my life.
My original way of detaching was shutting down. Just let him do what he wanted because he would do it anyway & I just couldn't mentally deal with challenging him on all the above facets of our life. That WAS a disaster.
So now I am back involved in my life & I care. I care about the lies & damage he does to our business, family, & me. I care about myself. I don't have much time for myself, because since I am the only one that cares, I am very busy trying to fix my life & figure out ways to seperate what I can so he can't do any more damage.
So How do I really fulfill step one?