After I broke up with XABF, he turned his attentions to trying to get me back. His version of this involved stalking, blaming me for everything that happened, trying to lay guilt trips on me, and his big finale was saying that he'd give me another chance with him to be the woman he wanted me to be because that was the kind of sweet, caring person he was.
I started to wish that he would just move on to someone else, and leave me alone.
If he had moved on and found someone else, I am sure I would have felt differently. I also recognize that we were never married, and it would be more difficult to let go if we had been.
Breakups are difficult and emotional, no matter how they happen, no matter if the person on the other end of the relationship was sucking it dry of any emotion whatsoever, no matter if we just wanted it to end ourselves. It's okay to feel that way. Emotions are healthy, especially after all the time we spend trying to suppress them in our lives while we're in an alcoholic relationship.
It's okay to hurt, it's okay to be angry.
It's okay to
feel.
