obsessed

I have thought of you often but haven't had computer at home in a while. My AD now has a precious angel!! That little girl is my heart. AD is not clean nor is her husband. Neither works and really no place to call home. I decided to call DHS and ask a few questions and someone close to us both told her that I had called so as with everything with my AD, she now refuses to let me see the baby, which is breaking my heart. I know I will see the baby again I just wish my AD would just stop with the drama. When asked about the call I told her I just asked a few basic questions and tried to explain to her that I really thought until they get their lives together that the baby would be better off with me and that is when all hell broke loose!!! Its been a really bad week!!! This with my AD, my mother is the one who told her I had called so you all know how mad I am at my mother for doing this,her answer was that I was trying to hurt my daughter. Im truly don't want to hurt my AD but as always Im the one who feels guilty. I dread tomorrow with every grain of my being. A young man that was in long term rehab with my AD committed suicide Thursday afternoon, my heart hurts so for his family. I told my ex husband today that when I sent her to rehab that I wanted for her to come out fixed!! Which after doing this for 6 long years with my AD I realize is not the case!!!! And I thought his mothers journey will never be over and my AD will never be fixed. OH!!! I also lost my job this week!!!! Im sorry for the long rambling post but I had to get it out!!! Happy Mothers Day to you all!!!