Thank you guys for all your kind words. I know that I want the best possible life for me and my kiddos. I am sad that I am mourning the loss of a fantasy marriage I never really had. Husband still hasn't came home. Dreading when he does, but I plan on sticking to my gut instinct that I need my car back and he will have to find somewhere to stay because that is HIS problem. I am scared but I know I will be no good to myself or my boys if I live in fear of his addiction. Fear has ran my life for to long. I know I have a looooong road ahead and I am very grateful that I can relate to other people's situation and that I am not alone.