I grew up with an alcoholic father, my husband is a weekend warrior, and I am an alcoholic in recovery.
When I newly sober, I resented alcohol, those that could drink, those that drank to excess...everything about it.
It took me working the program of AA and Al-Anon to be able to seperate the alcohol from the alcoholic, including myself.
I realized not only am I powerless over alcohol for myself, I am powerless over anyone else choice regarding alcohol.
Thru these programs I realized, I truly resented alcohol for what it had done to me, and others in my life.
I have been able to work thru this, and now, I can be around others that drink, it doesn't bother me anymore. However, sloppy, excessive drinking is a behavior I don't care to be around, at all.
If your boyfriend is truly an alcoholic, he can't ever go back to drinking normally. Once we become a pickle, we can't go back to being a cucumber.
Please consider attending Al-Anon to find some calm in the storm called alcoholism which is in your home, and in your life. It has taken me years to finally realize my Dad was a good man that suffered from a disease. For too long, I lumped the two together and couldn't seperate them. You also might want to look into ACOA, which is adult children of alcoholics. It helped me understand alot of my feelings and choices, including choosing a partner who does drink.