What can you do? Seriously?
I asked myself that constantly.
THe only thing you can do is, not enable, so that you can keep your side of the street clean. But I'm telling you, you tell him you won't go to bars with him, he'll just go w/out you.
And for me, I woudl sit there worrying, wondering what he was getting into.
I had not discovered al-anon yet.
Al-anon and not enabling, is really the only thing you can do. And you gotta do it for you. Not with the expectation it'll make a difference on him, because it wont. Like everyone keeps saying (cuz we've ALL been there, and we benefit from the decades of knowledge accumulated in AA, al-anon, and the medical community about this horrible disease), he will NOT get sober until he's ready.
He has to hit his bottom, and that's different for every alcoholic. Some never do. They just die. It's a sad fact but there are people here on SR who've survived that trauma, too.
Originally Posted by
SoCalPauly 
I hear what you all are saying. I know that I am not helping myself or him by enabling his behavior.
I am going to try to be responsible for my own behavior and my own happiness. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? I don't know why it is so hard for me putting ME first.
While I am working on myself, I still want to help him. I really feel like he is capable of understanding why he abuses alcohol.
What I can do to help him help himself, without trying to force something he isn't ready for and without falling back into the same destructive pattern?