Tuffgirl

I got home late last night from a day trip up north to find another huge pile of my things dumped in my garage.

This time I let him have it - and changed the code on the garage key pad.

Four solid months of having access to "his" house (of course, it was always HIS house) and I never touched anything that wasn't mine. In the course of 4 days, he gathered everything that was left and just dumped it in a pile in my garage. He did have the courtesy of hanging up the $400 prom dress that was in my daughter's room, awaiting a proper dress bag. But he hung it right over an open box of used oil cans that the seller left.

What is left today? A stack of books and some antique glass that needs to be hand packed and carried. I told him no more. I am taking today off to get it all, including sorting through the garage for my tools and DIY items.

He said he was "trying to do the next right thing" by "helping us get settled". I said this was another disrespectful maneuver on his part to exert control. I had asked him to wait until this weekend and I would do it. It's my stuff, my responsibility, my process. I asked him to wait one more week and he couldn't...said he has his own projects to work on. BS. I said no and he acted like the defiant teenager he is and did what he wanted to do anyway, and then got angry and defensive when called on it. Some things never change.

But here's the most amazingly pathetic part of the whole conversation last night. He said (and I am paraphrasing) "No matter what I do or say, you think I am the evil horned ******* who is out to get you and/or screw you over...its been like this our entire relationship".

Wow. He's right on that one. That's called LACK OF TRUST. At that point, I calmly pointed out he had just described what it has been like to be me. This is how I have felt for a number of years, as well. That maybe we had finally reached some common ground of understanding between us and maybe it was time to acknowledge this marriage is over. There is no trust. He never trusted me. I no longer trust him...why bother? Isn't that the foundation of a healthy relationship?

And then I walked out the door. I feel exhausted today, but ready to get the rest of my stuff and take a big step back here and re-evaluate my feelings on waiting for that proverbial first year. I don't think I want to wait. I think I just want this to be over. But first, am going to call in some reinforcements before I go running off on an emotionally fueled escapade and do something that next week I may regret.

I didn't watch the Good Wife last night, but reading the other thread got me to thinking.

Surely there has got to be something better out there than this?!