Lipitor, I am so sorry to read your post. I can feel the pain in your words, and it hurts me, too. You have been such an inspirational person to me in the 17 days I've been on this site, you are a tower of strength and wisdom.
I agree with the others..you must NOT change yourself to please others. That would be fake. FAKE is not what you are - your brutal honesty to yourself on this site shows that. You are a true gentleman. I do so hope you manage to get back up there and on here. As you can see, many people care about you on here. Thinking of you and sending strength.