Hi
I have just joined this site, your post cried out to me. I am so sorry your partner is leaving, she may not like you sober but do you like yourself drinking? Don't change to please someone no matter who... to thine own self be true. I believe in God I don't know if you do or not but try asking God or a higher power for help.
Hang on in there, it is no shame to fail, but if you want to succeed it is a shame to stop trying.
God Bless