Florence

My RAH has been doing really well in recovery, and has about 90 days under his belt. He's going to meetings every day and has a therapist that he trusts helping him work through this. We are lucky because my insurance coverage includes addiction treatment in its coverage so he's getting really high quality help. I'm about 6 1/2 months pregnant and starting to get into the uncomfortable end stages of pregnancy. You guys are my Al-Anon because I live in an area where the meetings are few and far between.

I got home last night from a four day business trip I probably shouldn't have gone on -- my ankles were swelling and I'd had a headache for 2+ days, and with my history of preeclampsia I was very nervous. When I got home, my husband was there, not at work. It turns out that while I was gone he'd lost his job.

While he took me to the doctor he revealed that he's been having panic attacks -- something that has been happening since he hit puberty and was self-medicating with the booze. Now with the booze gone, he's been having them more often and more severely, enough so that it interfered with his work and he got canned.

I'm trying to be understanding. Recovery takes time. This is part of his recovery. It's a setback, but it's the kind of setback we can recover from. I can't do anything about it, so I'm trying not to worry too much. BUT I'm 2 1/2 months from having another baby with a guy who is still unstable. RAH doesn't have a plan on what to do next. While I was gone he did nothing in the house -- the laundry was where I left it, but there was more of it. There were dishes in the sink that were there when I left. I was gone for four days, he didn't do anything in the house, and lost his job?

So yes, I'm trying to be understanding, but in the meantime none of my relationship needs are getting met. I need comfort, financial stability, sexual attention, support, partnership in the home, and emotional stability. Right now if these needs are getting met it's because I'm taking care of them myself. I need to talk to him about this, but I'm going to lose my sh*t when I do between the hormones and the stress.

Help!!