A trip Im nervous about.
About 2 months ago I booked a flight to Colorado to meet up with a friend I havent seen in over 5 years. The problem is Im getting sober now. At the time when I booked the trip, coming into recovery was far from reality.
My plan is to fly to Colorado, meet up with my friend and her and I were to take a road trip to East Nebraska for the weekend (stopping at all these county podunk bars on the way). Then back to her place for a few more days, and back to California for me.
See this week long event is supposed to be drunkfest 2011. Shes a drinker, and all the people were supposed to meet up on that weekend are drinkers - well most of them. Everyones expecting me to fly out and throw this huge party/reunion thing because I havent seen most of them for over 5 years. (I used to live in Nebraska 01-05). Most of them remember me as this huge party guy that has a blast, drinks a lot, and fun to drink with.
**Hell theres even a freaking facebook page setup about her and I coming out and were all supposed to meet at this bar!! (she made it after I booked my flight)**
I also havent told any of them I decided to quit drinking. To be honest Ive been trying to figure out how to approch it. I really havent told many people actually. Maybe two people. Anyways..
Im faced with 2 options. I don't go on this trip, and take a hit on the airfare. Or I go and put myself in a overwhelming amount of temptation that would test in astronomical amounts. But that horriable thing is, I really want to see all these people because we havent seen eachother in so long. Outside of drinking, a lot of these people shared in a big part of my life, and I do miss um.
So what to do what to do. Ever since I got sober, this trip has been running though my mind. I keep saying to myself. "Well I will be close to 2 1/2 months sober by then, but will I be ready for something like that by then?" I really doubt it.
Anyways thoughts?
-Ryan