Hi welcome to SR.
Check out the Sticky section, lots of good info in there.
The book "Codependent no more" by Melody Beatty is good reading and also talks about boundaries. "The language of letting go" by the same author is also wonderful.
Originally Posted by
SCOTTandMARIE 
She also tells lies about me to people she and Scott know, but I dont, so whenever we run into someone who knows him and his mom, they are very sweet to him but incredibly rude to me.
What others think of you is none of your business, but an alcoholic ex that I had also badmouthed me with our common friends, and some believed him. When I decided I was not going to waste energy "convincing" anyone, or worrying about other people's lies/fantasies/gossip, my life improved. I hope you make a point on seeing
the true friends that you have in your life. That is what it has taken for me to heal from that situation. (I am not saying you are behaving the same way I did, just sharing my own experience...)
Originally Posted by
SCOTTandMARIE He is losing his entire family, and it isn't right, but we are powerless.
Which family? they keep on dragging him down.
I am now into the concept of "spiritual family" as hard as it is to cut ties with family members sometimes its needed to keep our own health and sanity. Recently I was sad about "losing my dad" then I realized - WHICH DAD?? he was NEVER there when I needed or in the important events of my life. He is more like a pen-pal nowadays. And very often his words and actions hurt me and make me angry when I am otherwise OK. Yet for instance, the lovely Jadmack far away in Australia gets me and has supported me emotionally through my worst. I count her as spiritual family, she and SR members who have helped me way too much to heal from contact with an active alcoholic.
Yes, you are powerless. We are all powerless. No one can change, cure or control anyone else. BUT you have power over your life and your decisions, and you have the right to do what is best for you, even if it hurts at first...