YUPYUPYUPYUP
My ex even went to his parents, crying, saying he had a problem, back in 2009, because he had done cocaine after promising me he wouldn't. That made him say, it's the alcohol. I have a drinking problem. Did his parents do anything? NO.
I tried to get him into AA. He wouldn't go-said he wanted to work on a program of "moderation management." That should've been an impetus for me to move away from him but I wanted to let him see that HIS plan was not going to work. I even told him, ok but you have to recognize, if this plan doesn't work, you have a drinking problem.
Guess what? When July 4th rolled around, he decided to go back to the bar, even though I told him I would walk because of it.
My ex's parents have been in denial for years. It's scary. And yeah, I'm sure now I am the bad guy, because I tried to alert them to his problem. When he put his gun in his mouth during a drunken argument I really wanted to tell them what happened. I decided against it because they've been worthless so far. I figured they'd just make things worse.
Originally Posted by
StarCat 
You saw the signs, and now you're taking positive steps to remove yourself from a negative situation.
You're doing what you need to do.
I know it's difficult.
Appearances are very important to dysfunctional families. It's more important to keep up appearances than it is to actually fix things, in that unhealthy dynamic, because fixing things means admitting something's wrong, and nothing is allowed to be wrong.
Hence, she's very concerned about your opinion of her son, because you are a thread to keeping up that appearance, and she wants to build it up again. She doesn't want any cracks in their facade.
Just keep doing what you're doing, keep helping yourself, keep being polite but excusing yourself from the situation...
You're doing fine.
