Didn't See This Coming...
though after telling AH that he would not be able to attend a wedding this summer with the girls and I, I ought to have been on high alert.
He called and told D5 and D3 he'd see them in the morning when they woke up. The plan was he'd come by early to see them, have breakfast and drive them to school.
Around 11pm he called last night sounding drunk, I told him I would not talk (he wanted to "explain" to me why he HAD to lie so I'd understand) and hung up
I am sure you all can guess what happened this morning.
D5 and D3 woke up and in the course of about 30 min asked me 4 times where Daddy was. I said I didn't know (true). They wanted me to assure them he'd come. I said I hoped he would and I knew he'd said he would but I didn't know what Daddy's plan was.
Most heartbreaking... D5 ran to the front window a couple times when she heard a car pass by, thinking it was Daddy. I could see she was on the verge of tears and I told her it was okay to be upset and confused. She started crying and I hugged her and then she seemed better, helped make D3 breakfast and got along well with her sister the rest of the time until we went to school.
As I was dropping her off AH called my cell. I called him back after I dropped D5 off at Kindergarten and asked what was up. He was backpedaling and told me I must have left really early bc he just missed us at the house. I told him that D5 and D3 were both upset, sad, anxious and that the person I was most upset with was me for letting them believe a promise from him. Lots of excuses and then sorry it'll never happen again and I said nothing more except that I needed to go and I hung up.
NOTHING AH has done to me hurts me as much as seeing my daughters worried, and hurt bc of him. I hate him right now and need to get this out somewhere so that I can let it out, let go and hopefully move on....