I have mentioned on here finding an old message board post of mine, from 2002(pregnant with middle son) talking about AH's weekend binging. That was right before he did a year tour in S.Korea(left when middle was 5 months old) where he would often call me drunk. there are many times I wish I had just been the cold heartless b**** of a wife that he said I was, and sent him divorce papers while he was over there. But, I didn't. Instead I have nearly 10 more years of journal(online, private only) postings, that all recount the downward spiral he's been on since 2001-2002.
I did though, when cleaning out the attic, find a card he had done up on our first computer, very early marriage. it did make me cry. That's who I want back, but I know he's gone.
